For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Online anger management or face-to-face programs. Which one actually works better?
After running more than 2,000 face-to-face anger management groups, over 10,000 individual counseling sessions, and nearly a decade of online anger management training, I’ve seen firsthand what helps people create lasting change, and what causes them to lose momentum.
In this episode, I compare traditional face-to-face anger management programs with online programs, including the strengths and weaknesses of each approach. You’ll learn why retention is often the biggest challenge in group-based programs, how repetition and self-paced learning accelerate progress, and why many people achieve better results when they can revisit lessons whenever they need to.
I also explain an overlooked benefit of online anger management: the ability for partners to learn together. When both people understand the same tools, language, and strategies, it can dramatically improve communication and reduce conflict at home.
If you’re trying to decide between an online anger management program and a face-to-face course, this episode will help you choose the option that’s most likely to work for your situation.
The Anger Management Podcast helps people gain control over destructive anger, stop losing their temper, and create calmer, healthier relationships. Hosted by Alastair Duhs, creator of The Complete Anger Management System and founder of Anger Secrets.
Resources & Next Steps:
Book a free 30-minute phone call
Access the free training on “Breaking The Anger Cycle“
Learn more about The Complete Anger Management System
Transcript
Over the last 30 years, I've run more than 2,000 face to face group sessions and over 10,000 individual face to face anger management sessions.
Speaker A:I know what happens in anger management counseling, I know what works, what doesn't.
Speaker A:And I know the moment, usually around week three or four, when people start losing ground again.
Speaker A:And I've spent the last decade running my own online program, watching what happens there too.
Speaker A:So when people ask me should I see someone in person or go online, I don't have to guess.
Speaker A:And today I'm going to give you the honest answer.
Speaker A:The one I'd give a close friend who was trying to figure out where to start.
Speaker A:Hello and welcome to the Anger Management Podcast, Alistair I'm Alastair Dues, and for over 30 years I've helped more than 15,000 men and women control their anger, master their emotions, and create calmer, happier and more loving relationships.
Speaker A:If you'd like my help to do the same, head over to angersecrets.com you can book a free 30 minute call with me or grab my free training on how to break the anger cycle.
Speaker A:With that said, let's talk about face to face versus online anger management programs and which one is actually right for you.
Speaker A:Let's start with face to face anger management programs, because for most people, that's the more familiar option.
Speaker A:Face to face anger management programs typically involve attending sessions in person at a therapist's office, a community centre or a clinic.
Speaker A:Most of them are run in groups, usually with somewhere between 10 and 20 people.
Speaker A:Sessions tend to run for two to three hours, and programs usually last anywhere from 12 to 20 weeks.
Speaker A:Over the last 30 years, I've personally run more than 2,000 face to face anger management group sessions.
Speaker A:So I'm not guessing when I tell you what works and what doesn't.
Speaker A:I've seen it up close thousands of times, and here's the honest truth.
Speaker A:Face to face programs can be genuinely effective.
Speaker A:I've seen people transform their lives in those group settings.
Speaker A:There's something powerful about being in a room with others who are working through the same struggles.
Speaker A:The shared experience can reduce shame, it can help people feel less alone, and a skilled facilitator can create a real sense of momentum in a group.
Speaker A:But there are some significant downsides and they're worth knowing about before you commit.
Speaker A:The biggest one is retention.
Speaker A:You attend a two hour session once a week.
Speaker A:You learn something valuable and then life takes over.
Speaker A:Work, family, stress, and by the time next week rolls around, a lot of what you learned has faded.
Speaker A:You're essentially starting from scratch, each time building on a foundation that keeps shifting.
Speaker A:There's also the group dynamic itself.
Speaker A:Some people thrive in group settings.
Speaker A:Others find it difficult to open up in front of strangers, especially on something as personal as anger.
Speaker A:And in many face to face programs, particularly those that are court referred, the people sitting next to you may be there because they have to be, not because they want to be.
Speaker A:That changes the energy in the room considerably.
Speaker A:Now let's talk about online anger management programs.
Speaker A:And I want to address the elephant in the room straight away.
Speaker A:A lot of people are skeptical.
Speaker A:They think, can a screen really replace a real person?
Speaker A:Is watching videos online actually going to help me change?
Speaker A:I understand that skepticism.
Speaker A:It's reasonable.
Speaker A:But based on everything I've seen and I've now run my own online program, the Complete Anger Management System, for almost 10 years, the results speak for themselves.
Speaker A:Here's the core reason online programs work so well.
Speaker A:In a face to face session, you hear something once, maybe twice.
Speaker A:In an online program, you can watch a lesson as many times as you need to.
Speaker A:You can pause, rewind, take notes and come back to it the next morning when something isn't quite clicking.
Speaker A:That repetition is where real learning happens.
Speaker A:It's where things stop being ideas you heard once and start becoming habits you actually live by.
Speaker A:A client of mine named Jason put it perfectly.
Speaker A:He said, one of the things I really appreciated about the online format is that I can go back to it whenever I need to.
Speaker A:If I wake up at four in the morning and can't sleep, I can log on and go through a module.
Speaker A:I can work at my own pace, which is exactly what I needed.
Speaker A:Another client, Lisa, said she loved being able to go back through the lessons, take notes at her own pace and re watch sections until things really landed.
Speaker A:And Sean, a client who was juggling a busy work schedule, told me that being able to spend 10 or 15 minutes on a lesson whenever he had a spare moment meant he was consistently making progress even during the most hectic weeks.
Speaker A:That consistency is something face to face programs simply can't match.
Speaker A:And there's another benefit to online programs that I don't think gets talked about enough.
Speaker A:And it's one I see but make a real difference in relationships.
Speaker A:Many of my clients in the Complete Anger Management System watch the lessons together with their partner.
Speaker A:And that shared learning experience changes things.
Speaker A:Both people are building the same vocabulary, learning the same tools, understanding the same concepts.
Speaker A:Suddenly they're not on opposite sides of the problem.
Speaker A:They're working on it together.
Speaker A:That dynamic Alone has transformed more relationships than I can count.
Speaker A:In a face to face group program that simply isn't possible.
Speaker A:You're there alone, learning alone, and then going home to a partner who has no context for what you're working on.
Speaker A:So which one should you choose?
Speaker A:For most people, my honest recommendation is an online program.
Speaker A:Not because face to face doesn't work, it does for the right person in the right circumstances, but because of the flexibility, the repetition, the ability to learn at your own pace and the option to bring your partner along for the journey.
Speaker A:All of that adds up to a fundamentally better learning experience for most people.
Speaker A:There's also research to back this up.
Speaker A:A study from the Centre for Psychiatry Research in Sweden found that a well designed online anger management program significantly reduced anger and aggression levels in participants in just a few weeks.
Speaker A:These results were far better than traditional face to face interventions.
Speaker A:That said, if you're someone who genuinely thrives in a group setting, if you need the accountability of showing up somewhere physically each week, or if your circumstances make online learning difficult, then a face to face program might still be the right fit for you.
Speaker A:The best program is the one you'll actually complete.
Speaker A:So the bottom line is, whatever format you choose, the most important decision you can make is is to start.
Speaker A:Not next month, not when things settle down now, because anger doesn't tend to improve on its own.
Speaker A:But with the right tools and the right support, it changes faster than most people expect.
Speaker A:And if you'd like my help, head over to angersecrets.com you can book a free 30 minute call with me or start with my free training on on how to break the anger cycle.
Speaker A:If you're curious about the complete anger management system, you'll find everything you need there too.
Speaker A:And if this episode was useful, I'd love it if you left a rating and review on your favorite podcast app.
Speaker A:It takes about a minute and every review helps someone else who's struggling with anger.
Speaker A:Find this podcast and take that first step.
Speaker A:And remember, you can't control other people, but you can control yourself.
Speaker A:Thanks for listening.
Speaker A:Take care.
Speaker B:The Anger Management podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of counseling, psychotherapy or any other professional health service.
Speaker B:No therapeutic relationship is implied or created by this podcast.
Speaker B:If you have mental health concerns of any type, please seek out the help of a local mental health professional.
