For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Does anger feel like a cycle you can’t escape—despite your best intentions? In this episode of The Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs takes a closer look at whether anger management programs actually work.
Through real-world examples and compelling research, you’ll discover how practical tools and proven strategies can help you take back control, rebuild trust and create a calmer, more respectful life.
Key Takeaways:
Anger is human, not shameful: The goal isn’t to suppress anger—it’s to understand and redirect it in healthier ways.
Real tools create real change: Skills like identifying early warning signs, using timeouts and self-soothing can dramatically shift how you respond under pressure.
Science supports success: Research shows anger management programs reduce aggression, improve emotional control and help reframe distorted thinking.
Change doesn’t require years of therapy: Structured, practical programs offer step-by-step support you can start using right away.
Taking the first step is powerful: Just deciding to seek help is a courageous act—and a meaningful step toward more peaceful relationships.
Links referenced in this episode:
angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger management
angersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Control Your Anger in 7 Days
angersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System
Transcript
Have you ever wondered what to do when anger keeps getting the better of you?
Speaker A:Maybe you find yourself stuck in the same arguments with your partner, or replaying a moment where you snapped at your kids or a colleague.
Speaker A:And then you tell yourself, next time will be different.
Speaker A:Yet somehow the pattern repeats.
Speaker A:That frustration, that cycle of anger and regret can really make you question whether anything can really help.
Speaker A:Maybe you've even thought about trying an anger management program, but you may be thinking, do those programs actually work?
Speaker A:Or are they just another promise that falls flat?
Speaker A:If you've had these thoughts or anything similar, this episode of the anger management podcast is for you.
Speaker A:In this episode, we'll discuss the effectiveness of anger management programs and whether they can help you become a calmer, happier, and more respectful person.
Speaker A:I'm your host, Alistair Dues, and over the last 30 years, I have taught over 15,000 men and women to control their anger, master their emotions, and create calmer, happier, and more loving relationships.
Speaker A:In this podcast, I combine my 30 years of anger management experience with the power of artificial intelligence to share with you some of the most powerful tips and tools I know to help people control their anger, master their emotions, and live calmer, happier, and more peaceful lives.
Speaker A:Today, I've enlisted the help of my AI assistants, Jake and Sarah, to discuss whether anger management programs actually work.
Speaker A:Make sure you stick around to the end of the episode where I'll summarise Jake and Sarah's conversation and let you know how to take the next step to control your anger once and for all.
Speaker A:With that said, let's get started into today's deep dive.
Speaker B:Have you ever found yourself, you know, maybe caught in a moment, screaming at someone in traffic or maybe slamming a door, and then that thought pops in like, this is just who I am.
Speaker B:I've always been like this.
Speaker C:Yeah, that's familiar for a lot of people.
Speaker B:Or maybe, look, I'm just too old to change now.
Speaker B:What's the point?
Speaker B:It takes real courage to even think about facing those feelings, let alone looking into how to manage them.
Speaker C:It really does.
Speaker C:And, you know, there's absolutely zero shame in admitting that anger sometimes feels, well, overwhelming.
Speaker C:It happens.
Speaker C:It's a completely normal human feeling.
Speaker C:But learning to manage it, well, that's not about trying to just squash it down or eliminate it.
Speaker C:That's not the goal.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker C:It's really about gaining a powerful skill.
Speaker C:And the kind of insights we're going to talk about today.
Speaker C:They can genuinely change your relationships, bring a sort of new calm into your life.
Speaker C:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker C:And even lead to, you know, Happier families, calmer homes.
Speaker C:It's quite profound.
Speaker B:Okay, so let's unpack this.
Speaker B:Then let's really dive into whether these anger management programs actually work.
Speaker B:Can they truly help you become calmer, maybe more respectful, happier?
Speaker B:Our mission today really is to figure out if that kind of real lasting change is actually possible for you.
Speaker C:Yeah, let's get into it.
Speaker B:So if you're thinking about trying to get a handle on your anger, you might hit that first wall.
Speaker B:That sort of apprehension, what are some of those common fears, those internal roadblocks that stop people?
Speaker C:That's a really key point.
Speaker C:It's often pretty difficult, isn't it, to admit you might need a bit of help with something as personal as anger?
Speaker B:Yeah, definitely.
Speaker C:And feeling overwhelmed by it.
Speaker C:Way more common than you might think.
Speaker C:But the thing is, these programs, they aren't trying to turn you into some kind of robot who never feels anything.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:That wouldn't even be healthy.
Speaker C:Exactly.
Speaker C:It's impossible.
Speaker C:And like you said, not healthy.
Speaker C:Instead, they're about equipping you with practical tools, real techniques to control your reactions and maybe even channel that energy in a more positive way.
Speaker C:Imagine like learning to spot your own personal red flags before things escalate.
Speaker C:Or mastering a really simple breathing technique that can just poof.
Speaker C:De escalate a tense moment right then and there.
Speaker C:These are the kind of skills, you know, life changing skills that help you.
Speaker B:Stay centered even when things get heated.
Speaker C:Especially when things get heated, even when you feel provoked.
Speaker B:That idea, staying calm when everything feels like it's spinning out of control, that really hits home.
Speaker B:But okay, beyond the theory, what does it actually look like?
Speaker B:What kind of real world changes have you seen when people start using these tools?
Speaker C:Oh, it's, it's genuinely remarkable, honestly, seeing the effect these approaches have had on thousands of people over the years.
Speaker C:Wow.
Speaker C:And we're talking men and women from absolutely all walks of life.
Speaker C:Parents, teachers, accountants, builders, lawyers, shop owners.
Speaker C:Just regular people.
Speaker B:So not just one type of.
Speaker C:Not at all.
Speaker C:These are fundamentally good people who just find themselves in situations they don't quite know how to handle.
Speaker C:Maybe their 5 year old is having a massive tantrum in the supermarket, or their teenager is pushing boundaries, being really disrespectful, or they just feel completely ignored or unheard by their partner.
Speaker C:You know, those everyday moments where anger can just flare up and take over.
Speaker B:Yeah, I can picture that.
Speaker C:But here's the key.
Speaker C:With the right tools, it doesn't have to take over.
Speaker C:You start to see that there are actually like loads of options for how to respond productively.
Speaker B:Options other than just reacting.
Speaker C:Exactly.
Speaker C:Options that let you choose calm instead of conflict.
Speaker C:We've literally watched people go from constantly yelling in traffic jams to just calmly navigating rush hour.
Speaker B:It's a big shift.
Speaker C:Huge.
Speaker C:Or turning family dinners from, you know, potential arguments waiting to happen into times where people actually connect.
Speaker C:It's pretty powerful stuff.
Speaker B:That is powerful.
Speaker B:And it sounds like it's not just based on these compelling stories, these anecdotes.
Speaker B:There's actual research backing this up.
Speaker B:What does the science say precisely?
Speaker C:It's not just feel good stories.
Speaker C:The research is quite solid.
Speaker C:For example, there was a:Speaker C:It found that men who went through cognitive behavioral programs for anger.
Speaker C:That's often called cbt, right?
Speaker B:Cbt?
Speaker C:Yeah, it helps you spot and change those negative thought patterns and behaviors that fuel anger.
Speaker C:Anyway, these men showed really significant improvements in controlling their anger.
Speaker B:Okay, so better control.
Speaker C:Better control.
Speaker C:And also importantly, a noticeable drop in domestic violence reoffending.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker C:Okay, then there's another one.
Speaker C:A:Speaker C:This one looked at both men and women, and it found significant reductions in how easily people got angered, their anger arousal, and also in what the researchers call cognitive perceptual angry distortions.
Speaker B:What does that mean exactly?
Speaker B:Distortions.
Speaker C:It's basically those mental filters we sometimes have when we're angry.
Speaker C:You know, twisting a situation, maybe seeing bad intentions where there aren't any.
Speaker B:Ah, cool.
Speaker B:Like jumping to conclusions.
Speaker C:Yeah, exactly that.
Speaker C:And these programs help you adjust those filters so you can think more clearly, more accurately, especially in tough spots.
Speaker B:Got it.
Speaker C:And one more.
Speaker C:This one in Consulting and clinical psychology reported that participants saw significant drops in both female physical and verbal aggression.
Speaker B:So across the board, really?
Speaker C:Pretty much what's really compelling is how consistently these different studies back up the real world experiences we see they show pretty comprehensive benefits.
Speaker B:So, okay, we've got the personal stories, we've got the scientific backing.
Speaker B:It all points to this being effective.
Speaker B:Yeah, but does that mean, you know, years and years of therapy, sitting on a couch, digging through everything?
Speaker C:Not necessarily, no.
Speaker C:That's a common misconception.
Speaker C:Actually.
Speaker C:The learning process can be some surprisingly direct and, well, accessible.
Speaker B:How so?
Speaker C:It's really less about endless sort of naval gazing and more about structured, practical learning.
Speaker C:You learn specific, powerful techniques that have been proven to work.
Speaker B:Like the breathing thing you mentioned?
Speaker C:Yeah, like the breathing.
Speaker C:Or maybe tools like an anger thermometer to help you recognize when you're escalating or Learning the timeout technique properly so you can actually use it to de escalate.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:Practical stuff.
Speaker C:Very practical.
Speaker C:And then it's about practicing them.
Speaker C:Practicing until they become almost second nature.
Speaker C:Your go to response instead of the old pattern.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Building muscle memory.
Speaker C:That's a great way to put it.
Speaker C:And this approach, it tends to work regardless of your background or what you've been through before.
Speaker C:These aren't just tricks, they're empowering skills.
Speaker B:Skills that let you respond differently.
Speaker C:Exactly.
Speaker C:Respond in positive, productive ways.
Speaker C:And that leads directly to those calmer, happier relationships, that more fulfilling life we talked about.
Speaker B:So when you boil it all down, the evidence seems pretty clear, doesn't it?
Speaker B:Anger management programs, they don't just kind of work.
Speaker B:They can actually be genuinely life changing.
Speaker B:So if you've been struggling with anger, feeling stuck, just know that real effective help is absolutely out there.
Speaker B:It's available.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:And maybe this raises an important question for you to think about.
Speaker C:You can't control other people, but you can control yourself.
Speaker B:That's a really powerful thought to leave with.
Speaker C:It is it puts the power back in your hands.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:So if you're listening and you feel ready to take that control to get a handle on your anger, master your emotions and really build those calmer, happier, more respectful relationships, we really encourage you to check out the resources available.
Speaker B:You can visit angersecrets.com there's free training there, lots of support, and you can.
Speaker C:Even book a free anger assessment call.
Speaker B:Right, a free assessment call.
Speaker B:And for anyone who's ready, ready to really dive deep, you'll also find all the details about the complete anger management system there on the site.
Speaker C:That's angersecrets.com okay, thank you so much.
Speaker A:For joining us on today's episode of the anger management podcast.
Speaker A:I hope you found this conversation helpful.
Speaker A:Before we wrap up, let's take a moment to summarize some of the key ideas Jake and Sarah shared today.
Speaker A:Firstly, Jake and Sarah reminded us that anger is a natural human emotion.
Speaker A:It's not something to be silenced or eliminated.
Speaker A:It's part of being human.
Speaker A:But when anger starts to take control and harms your relationships, that's when it becomes a problem that needs addressing.
Speaker A:This perspective is so important because it takes away the shame around anger and opens the door for change.
Speaker A:Next, Jake and Sarah explored how anger management programs aren't about becoming someone you're not.
Speaker A:Instead, they're about learning practical tools like recognising your personal triggers or de escalating tense moments.
Speaker A:These are the kinds of tools that can meet everyday challenges head on, whether it's managing workplace stress, keeping you cool during a family disagreement, or navigating the chaos of parenthood.
Speaker A:Next, Jake and Sarah highlighted research showing that anger management programs, especially those based on helping people to change their thoughts about situations that lead to anger, can be highly effective over time.
Speaker A:They shared three examples of research studies that have shown this, as well as discussed some examples from my own client work.
Speaker A:Finally, Jake and Sarah highlighted why taking the first step is so powerful.
Speaker A:Just acknowledging that you want to control your anger and seeking support for that is an incredible act of courage.
Speaker A:Deciding to try a program or practice new tools doesn't just improve your life, it also sends a message to your loved ones that they matter.
Speaker A:And here's the truth we keep coming back to throughout this episode.
Speaker A:Anger doesn't have to define you, you can control it.
Speaker A:And when you do, it transforms how you show up for yourself and the people you love.
Speaker A:Okay, that's all for today's episode.
Speaker A:Anger Management programs Do they work?
Speaker A:I hope you found this episode helpful.
Speaker A:If you did, I'd appreciate it if you took a moment to follow this podcast on your favourite podcast app and if possible, leave a quick rating and review.
Speaker A:This helps other people find this show and start their own journey to a calmer, happier and healthier life.
Speaker A:Remember too, for free support to control your anger, including access to a free training or a free 30 minute anger assessment, call with me, visit my website angersecrets.com or if you would like to begin your anger management journey right now, visit angersecrets.com course to enroll in my powerful online course, the Complete Anger Management System, I'd be honoured to help you on your anger management journey.
Speaker A:And finally, remember, you can't control other people, but you can control yourself.
Speaker A:I'll see you in the next episode.
Speaker A:Take care.
Speaker B:The Anger management Podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of counseling, psychotherapy or any other professional health service.
Speaker B:No therapeutic relationship is implied or created by this podcast.
Speaker B:If you have mental health concerns of any type, please seek out the help of a local mental health professional.
