How Hannah Went From "Losing It With Anger" To Being "Much Calmer" Now

Hannah was born in Vietnam, but grew up in Canada.

Hannah witnessed a lot of anger, particularly from her father, when she was growing up.

She was skeptical beginning The Complete Anger Management System. 

"I've seen a few counselors in the past", she told me, " and I just felt like no-one really understood why I was being the way I was."

Did she think the Complete Anger Management System would work for her?

"No", she said, "I thought, it's not going to work. It's not going to work. No. It's not going to work."

So, how long did it take the Complete Anger Management System to help Hannah control her anger and became a calmer, happier person?

Within an hour, she told me.

Read on for Hannah's full story.

Alastair: Tell me a bit about yourself.

Hannah: "I was born in Vietnam and then I moved to Canada when I was quite young.

"Living in Canada was quite a rough environment. It was very negative. I think a lot of it was because of that. That sort of, I wouldn't say ruined my childhood, but just growing up it was just always yelling and screaming."

"And then obviously, we copy what our parents go through. So that's what happened to me. I held in a lot of anger and hatred towards my upbringing, and it just made me into basically a very angry person."

Alastair: How did you know you had an anger issue?

Hannah: "I was in denial for the first little while, but as time goes on, I can tell that it was getting out of hand and I just could not manage it. And then that's when I found you."

"So then that's when I just took the plunge and I said: "You know what? I really need this for me and for our boys, and also for my husband. I don't want them to grow up in a broken family like I did."

Alastair: How did you feel starting the course?

Hannah: "I was a little bit skeptical, only because I have been through a few counselors in the past and I just felt like no-one was listening to me and that they just didn't really understand why I was being the way I was."

"So, it was very frustrating and I just always thought, it's not going to work. It's not going to work. No. No. Not going to work."

Alastair: What were some of the first things you learned in the course?

Hannah: "So when I went through that first...just the basic slide that was on there. This was when I hadn't really started the course. I read through it and obviously went through the whole hour, and the more I got into it, the more I understood why I was becoming angry."

"So, after I started just reading through that, I quickly just tried to manage my anger in a different way. Like after that first hour of just listening and going through the work pages, it was really good."

"It actually made me think before I react, and just took it to another level."

Alastair: What anger management tool has been most useful for you?

Hannah: "Probably the Tension Scale."

"I really like that Tension Scale because I can start to feel that: "Wait a minute, I'm on level 5 at the moment. So I really need to change my tactic there and either go grab a drink of water and just walk out of the room for a couple of minutes, or go walk about in a different area and then come back and chat if I need to."

"And also before I say anything hurtful, I would retract myself and not get to that state before I hurt my husband by saying something I shouldn't have."

Alastair: How has doing an online course been?

Hannah: "It's been really helpful and very convenient."

"Especially, like I don't have to make a time or try and work in a time to go see a counsellor. And the time when we do our meeting on Zoom the kids have gone to bed." 

"So it's really good that I take times I do have free on the couch or on the weekend or when one of my kids nap, I can sit there and go through my course. So it's been really good that it's online."

Alastair: What changes have you made since you started the course?

Hannah: "I believe, and my husband told me that the main thing that he's noticed is that I was able to remove myself from a situation or from an argument when I used to never be able to."

"Another thing that I've also noticed is that before I start saying something back, like before I start snapping at him, I actually take a moment to take a deep breath and just relax before I say anything, because I don't want to hurt him like I have in the past."

"And yeah, just take a bit of a break before we get back into what we were talking about, because he has a different view of that situation and why he was being how he is."

"I've always been that person that just goes straight into conclusion, and then never give anybody the time of day to explain. So, that was the the biggest change for me."

Alastair: Are you calmer with your children?

Hannah: "I haven't really lost it with with my anger. Normally if if they have done something, I can talk to them calmly now."

"Whereas before I would just yell. Like the first thing I yell, so I'm trying to be more calm when I talk to them because obviously kids listen when you're calm, when you're talking to them in a nice, calm voice. I'm not just going a hundred percent straight at them.

Alastair: Has this course helped you control your anger?

Hannah: "Yes. I would say I'm a lot calmer now. And he also said it too a few times. We don't get into a lot of arguments as much. Like before I used to just blow up at absolutely nothing."

"It would take nothing for me to suddenly just blow up at him. But now, it will take a lot where I lose it a little bit. But now I can actually be a grownup, as you would say."

"You know, deal with it like a grownup, and actually just wait until he finishes his sentence where I would normally budge in and start yelling at him with no reason."

"But now I can actually sit there and calmly let him explain what he has to explain. And then I go through my part of the explanation. So he understands why I was being the way I am."

Alastair: What would you say to someone thinking about doing this course?

Hannah: "I honestly would recommend it. I would definitely say, go for it because you see a difference. And I would obviously say that from experience."

"Speaking from experience, with me being such a short-tempered person to then suddenly be calmer and not losing my temper as much and actually think before I speak. Yeah, I would definitely recommend it to them."

Alastair: Anything else you'd like to say?

"Hannah: "Basically, if anyone is wanting to change the way they manage their anger, I honestly think they should definitely take a plunge like I did."

"Because when I decided, "You know what, I really need help. I really need to change the way I get, because I really don't want my marriage in turmoil and my kids to grow up the way like I did".

"I just had to change and I just had to work on myself and I had to work on my anger. And I'm very, very happy that I, found the Anger Expert. And I would definitely recommend it to everybody."