How The Complete Anger Management System Permanently Changed Jason's Life

Jason is a 48-year-old man whose previous two marriages failed due to his anger.

Jason enrolled in the Complete Anger Management System after a conflict with his current partner, Louise.

Having attended face-to-face counseling in the past, Jason was sceptical about whether an online anger management course would help him.

"I've seen counselors in the past", Jason told me, "but they've never been able to help me. I want to understand why I get angry, and I want simple, practical tools that I can use to stop my anger from ruining my relationships".

Did the Complete Anger Management System give Jason what he was looking for?

Read my interview with Jason to find out.

Alastair: Tell me a bit about yourself...

Jason: "I've come to your course through a bit of a process. I've been through a couple of failed marriages, two of them and most recently through a bit of a testing time with my current partner."

"Starting this course has really shown me some of the patterns in the past that I've continued to repeat and actions and behaviors that I don't want be doing anymore."

Alastair: How was doing an online course?

Jason: "One of the things that I've really appreciated about it being an online course is that I can continue to go back to it."

"I can go back to it whenever I want. If I wake up at four in the morning and can't get back to sleep, I can log on and do some modules."

"So I can do it in my own time. Which, for me, was what I wanted and what I needed."

"I threw myself into it quite a bit right at the start and went through it a fair bit faster than I would have if if I'd done it in a face-to-face weekly meeting sort of thing."

Alastair: How was your anger affecting you?

"I just didn't like the person I was turning into."

"I was always having negative thoughts about myself. I was always feeling guilty about getting angry. Every time I had an outburst, because they were happening frequently, I was constantly getting mad."

"I couldn't get through like two or three days without completely losing my cool."

Alastair: What have you learned from this course?

Jason: "How long have you got? There's a lot..."

"The Tension Scale was one of the first things. I think it might have even been in the first module. Understanding that we're on a Scale and things that happen through the course of the day, the week or month, whatever, they all add to increasing the needle on the Tension Scale."

"Having an understanding of that for me was quite a big thing. And realizing that if I'm starting to feel a little higher on the Tension Scale, it's probably a good time to step back, take a breather and think about things."

Alastair: What was making you angry?

Jason: "The anger for me was typically around getting frustrated about things. Things hadn't gone my way. Or, just, general frustrations. And that for me was like a bit of a bullet."

"I've found it quite easy now to manage my behavior because of that...I've had a number of occasions, especially recently, where I've switched immediately."

Alastair: What was the first thing you learned from the course?

Jason: "One of the first things that's said in the course is about anger not working. It never helps the situation."

"And I guess for me, I realized because it was content that was in there, that as opposed to getting angry, what I've started to do is try and understand why it's happening, try to understand why the other person is doing or saying what it is they're doing."

"And that puts me in a different frame of mind, which has been really good."

Alastair: Has learning to control your anger been hard?

Jason: "I've got to be honest. I've found it a damn site easier than I thought I would."

"Because again, I think, with me being able go through and digest the course at my own pace and in my own time and have a lot of time set aside for me to think about it and think about the impact of it."

"I've found it surprisingly easy. There were some very difficult things that I had to deal with. And those were some of the realizations of how I've treated people. And the impact on those around me, my kids."

"I don't want my son growing up thinking that way to get your away is to lose your temper. And I don't want my daughter growing up thinking that it's okay for your partner to treat you like that, because it's not."

"And so those were pretty bitter pills to swallow."

"But again, one of the things that was addressed in one of the early stages is that abuse is contextual. Just because I'm raising my voice, I may not feel like I'm getting particularly angry. But if my partner's a very sensitive person, and she is, it can absolutely be abuse for her."

"That terrified me. To think that I didn't think that I was that bad, but to think that I'd subjected her to abuse was a horrible feeling."

"So, very difficult parts to confront, but I've found the course very easy."

Alastair: How has the course changed you?

Jason: "I'm calmer. It's kind of crazy."

"I got through my move that I did over the past weekend and I can hand-on-heart say this is the first move I've done, whether it's for myself or whether I've helped other people move, it is the first move that I haven't gotten angry about something."

"It's not to say that there weren't frustrations during the move, because there absolutely were."

Alastair: Have other people noticed these changes?

Jason: "My son was one of the ones helping me move."

"He's 18, and we've got an amazing relationship, always have. And he actually said to me while we're moving, that he's seen a big change in me."

Alastair: What would you say to other people thinking about doing this course?

Jason: "Do it. Find a way to do it."

"I know that sometimes cost can be a bit of a challenge, but people talk about cost versus investment. And I really do think it was an investment."

"And if you can do it, you need to do it"

Alastair: Is doing this course better than seeing a counselor?

Jason: "I've spoken to counselors in the past, and I've been through relationship counseling, and this is the first time where I've felt like I've actually got some tools that I've learned, but also some tools that I can refer back to."

"Six months down the track, if I feel like I'm forgetting some of it, I can log back in and look through it again and go through certain modules if I think I need to.

"That, to me, means that it's invaluable."

Alastair: What other differences has this course made to you?

Jason: "Knowing that, and I say knowing, because it's absolutely how I feel. Knowing that I will never be that person again."

"Knowing that I've got the tools and I've got the experience and I've got the knowledge now to be able to stop that type of thing from happening."

"And look, I'm sure I will get angry or frustrated about something in the future. That's not going to stop."

"What is going to stop is the way I've been behaving and the way I've been taking it out on people that I shouldn't have taken it on."

Alastair: Is there anything else you'd like to say?

Jason: "I feel like this course has changed my life, and I feel very indebted to you, Alastair."

"It has been a great course. And I do hand-on-heart think that it has permanently changed my life."