For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
In this heartfelt episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores the emotional toll of anger—not just on the people around you, but on your own sense of self.
If you’ve ever whispered an apology and still felt the weight of guilt, this episode will help you understand why anger shows up and how you can begin to break free from its grip.
Real stories of transformation offer hope, showing that lasting change begins with awareness and a simple, courageous first step.
–Anger is natural—but when left unchecked, it can damage trust, create fear and leave emotional scars.
-Even well-intended apologies can feel empty if the deeper patterns of anger aren’t addressed.
-Children are especially vulnerable to the emotional impact of anger, which can affect their confidence and sense of safety.
-Stories from real people like Nathan and Peter show that no matter your past, healing and change are absolutely possible.
-Breaking the anger cycle doesn’t require perfection—just awareness, reflection and the willingness to respond differently.
-You can begin to rebuild trust and connection with the people you love starting today.
Links referenced in this episode:
angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger management
angersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Control Your Anger in 7 Days
angersecrets.com/course — Enrol in The Complete Anger Management System
Transcript
Is this familiar to you?
Speaker A:You're sitting on the edge of your bed, staring at the floor.
Speaker A:The echo of your words, sharp and cutting, still hangs in the air.
Speaker A:You didn't mean to snap, but you did.
Speaker A:And now the house feels quieter than it should, too quiet.
Speaker A:Later, you find the courage to mutter the words to your partner or children, I'm sorry.
Speaker A:You see the pain in their eyes soften just a little bit.
Speaker A:But deep down, you know it's not enough.
Speaker A:Because even though they forgave you, you can't quite forgive yourself.
Speaker A:If moments like these have kept you up at night.
Speaker A:I want you to know something important.
Speaker A:Being here, listening to this episode, says a lot about you.
Speaker A:It says that you care deeply, that you want to change.
Speaker A:And that's where transformation begins.
Speaker A:Today, we'll explore the real reasons your anger shows up uninvited and unravel why it feels so hard to stop in the moment.
Speaker A:We'll talk about the hidden patterns running beneath the surface and how they shape the way you react.
Speaker A:And most importantly, we'll uncover practical ways to break the anger cycle.
Speaker A:By the end of this episode, you'll walk away with more than just knowing how to apologise.
Speaker A:You'll have a roadmap to rebuild trust, repair connection, and handle those tough moments with grace.
Speaker A:Because here's the truth you need to hear today.
Speaker A:When it comes to anger, you are capable of change.
Speaker A:And today's episode may be the first step you need to take to achieve that change.
Speaker A:Hi there, I'm Alastair Dews, and you're listening to episode 146 of the Anger Secrets podcast.
Speaker A:If you're new here, welcome.
Speaker A:And if you have been tuning in for a while, I'm really glad you're back.
Speaker A:For over 30 years, I've helped more than 15,000 people control their anger, master their emotions, and build relationships that actually feel good again.
Speaker A:If you want help right now to control your anger, including a free training on how to break the anger cycle, head over to my website, angasecrets.com there's a link there to access that free training.
Speaker A:Or if you'd like to chat personally with me about your situation, you can also book a free 30 minute anger assessment call with me.
Speaker A:I look forward to talking with you.
Speaker A:With that said, let's jump into today's episode, the Road to Overcoming anger.
Speaker A:As humans, we're built to feel the entire spectrum of emotions, and anger is just one of those emotions.
Speaker A:It's natural, it's normal, and it's even helpful sometimes.
Speaker A:It Signals that something deeper is going on inside.
Speaker A:But as you probably know, when anger gets out of control, it can spill over onto the people we care about most.
Speaker A:And that's when it turns destructive.
Speaker A:Maybe you've felt this firsthand.
Speaker A:You didn't want to lose your temper.
Speaker A:You didn't want to snap.
Speaker A:But in the heat of the moment, it happened, and afterward, you're left with that pit in your stomach, wondering how things got to that point again.
Speaker A:If that's a place you've been, you're not alone.
Speaker A:And it's not the end of the story.
Speaker A:Because here's a question worth asking.
Speaker A:What does your anger do to the people you love?
Speaker A:For many who've shared their stories with me, their answers are hard to admit out loud.
Speaker A:But asking and really sitting with that question is the first step to change.
Speaker A:For example, one of the most common effects of anger is that it creates fear.
Speaker A:When anger comes out as raised voices, harsh words, or even just cold silence, it's like building a wall between you and your loved ones.
Speaker A:They feel they have to tiptoe around you like they're walking on eggshells.
Speaker A:And that tension, over time, it drains the joy from relationships and makes home feel less like a safe space.
Speaker A:And hurt.
Speaker A:That's another ripple effect of unchecked anger.
Speaker A:The things you say or do in those heated moments can leave lasting marks.
Speaker A:Words have weight.
Speaker A:Once they're spoken, they can't be taken back.
Speaker A:And even if your anger fades quickly, its impact may linger with others far longer.
Speaker A:If you're a parent, this next point may resonate deeply.
Speaker A:Children in particular are profoundly influenced by exposure to anger.
Speaker A:They're still figuring out who they are.
Speaker A:And when they're repeatedly exposed to anger, especially when it feels personal, it chips away at their confidence and self worth.
Speaker A:It's like a rainstorm washing over delicate soil, slowly but surely leaving its mark.
Speaker A:If this feels heavy, I want to remind you're not alone and you're here.
Speaker A:You're listening.
Speaker A:And that tells me you care enough to want to make a change.
Speaker A:And if you need proof that change is possible, I want to share a couple of stories with you.
Speaker A:Nathan, a 37 year old man, reached out to me after starting my anger management program.
Speaker A:He told me about a moment that completely shifted his perspective.
Speaker A:One of the lessons in the program had him look at his anger through his family's eyes.
Speaker A:When he imagined how his wife and kids saw him in those moments, he said, it broke him.
Speaker A:I cried for hours, he wrote.
Speaker A:I never want my wife or kids to feel that way again.
Speaker A:Another story comes from Peter, who's 52.
Speaker A:His marriage, after years of anger, was on the verge of collapse.
Speaker A:But once he started intentionally facing the patterns of his reactions, he began to see things differently.
Speaker A:He emailed me to say, for the first time in a long time, I feel hope.
Speaker A:I've been looking at the damage anger has caused, not just to my marriage, but to me.
Speaker A:And I know now I don't want it to define me anymore.
Speaker A:Stories like Nathan's and Peter's remind me of something powerful.
Speaker A:No matter how long anger has been part of your life, it doesn't have to dictate your future.
Speaker A:If you're listening to this and thinking I've done damage too, I need you to know something.
Speaker A:It's not too late to rewrite your story.
Speaker A:Yes, your anger has likely impacted those you love.
Speaker A:But do you want to know the good news?
Speaker A:You can take steps to change that, starting today.
Speaker A:It doesn't take perfection.
Speaker A:All it takes is awareness, a willingness to reflect, and the courage to try something different.
Speaker A:If you're ready to take that first step, I'd love to help.
Speaker A:Visit angasecrets.com to learn more.
Speaker A:Whether it's tools, strategies, or just guidance on where to begin, you'll find something there to move you forward.
Speaker A:So remember, anger is a part of the human experience, but it doesn't have to define your relationships or your life.
Speaker A:You have the power to create a calmer, more connected future for yourself and for the people you love.
Speaker A:And it all starts with the choice you make right now.
Speaker A:So don't wait any longer.
Speaker A:Take that first step today.
Speaker A:Okay, thank you for listening to today's episode, the Road to Overcoming Anger.
Speaker A:If this was helpful for you, hit that follow button and maybe leave a quick review.
Speaker A:It helps others find the podcast and it might be the exact nudge someone else needs right now.
Speaker A:And remember, if you want a free training on how to control your anger or a chance to chat one on one with me, just head over to angersecrets.com there's a free 30 minute call you can book.
Speaker A:No pressure, just a genuine conversation.
Speaker A:And if you're ready to get serious about changing how you show up in your relationship, take a look at the complete anger management system@AngerSecrets.com course.
Speaker A:I'd love to help you once and for all.
Speaker A:And finally, remember, you can't control what other people say or do, but you can control yourself.
Speaker A:Your tone, your choices, and how you respond to others.
Speaker A:And that's where your real power lives.
Speaker A:Take care of, and I'll talk to you soon.
Speaker B:The Anger Secrets podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of counseling, psychotherapy, or any other professional health service.
Speaker B:No therapeutic relationship is implied or created by this podcast.
Speaker B:If you have mental health concerns of any type, please seek out the help of a local mental health professional.
